Category Archives: conversation with women

[Transcript is expanded and clarified from the video – especially the friend zone part]

Hey Rockstar, this is Andres Aras with Attraction Academy and today we’re going to talk about:

“How Not To Be Fiend-Zoned And Still Be A Good Guy.”

So this week we were at a training session, and one of the guys said that he needed to be more of an alpha guy.

The reason that he THINKS he needs to be more of an alpha guy was because he’s “too NICE of a guy”.

He wants to be more of an alpha guy and in further explanation he asked: the question “what do you tell a woman, when she comes up to you and says ‘hey buy me a drink’ ?“

He was thinking of answering with something to the effect of “hey we haven’t had sex yet. I’ll buy you a drink after that.”

Which to a high quality woman, this kind of answer comes out as very aggressive.

Probably a little bit too strong.

There are times that you need to tone it down and not be an alpha guy, but to be a GOOD GUY.


There’s a huge difference between being a nice guy that gets runs over and being a good guy.

A good guy actually has standards and boundaries, and not just for women but also for men.

A good guy knows what they’re willing to put up with and what they’re willing to do for someone.

So your goal should be to be a good guy by having the right boundaries.


So what did we come up with when woman says something like “buy me a drink” and you still want to be a good guy and not an alpha asshole?

Well what we came up with was to say something like – “well I don’t usually buy drinks for strangers, so let’s get to know each other and then I’ll buy you a drink.”

It’s simple, it’s elegant and it doesn’t come out douchy.

And if it works out that you get to know her from showing her your boundaries and she’s fantastic person … Awesome! Great! Progress from there.

If she bails on you, then it’s not meant to be. She’s not the right one for you to even have a conversation with. (More on this when we cover the 1/3 rule in another video/blog)

By being a classy guy, a gentlemen if you will, you will actually get further along.


Now let’s say that you get to know her and you’re starting to feel “friend-zoned.”

If you think you’re ever being friend-zoned that’s because odds are that you haven’t shown her interest.

I say “odds are” because most of us guys think she can read minds and she knows we like her because we DO things for her.

You need to TELL her you’re interested in her.

Odds are you haven’t gotten her to notice that you are actually interested in her as a man is to a woman.

Your goal is to ALWAYS let her know that you are actually interested in her sexually.

But you don’t have to be a dick about it like the earlier example.


(My apologies that I actually missed covering this very important point)

Let’s say that you have told her you’re interested in her.

If you’re a good guy, you’ll respect her decision AND you won’t be a wuss and let her run all over you just because she wants/needs someone to do X Y & Z for her.

You’ll actually have standards & boundaries that basically say: if we’re not sleeping together (or something to that effect) then you don’t get the benefits of A B & C from me.

Remember: Be a good guy not a nice guy who gets run over by her. And believe me, we’ve all been there … until we learned the difference.


The question for you is:

“How is this valuable for you and what are you going to do about it?”


Andres Aras from Los Angeles signing out.